I have felt so emotional watching the extensive coverage of President Bush’s death over the past few days. My emotional response has taken me by surprise, in fact. And it is not so much about the loss of a great man, which he was, but something deeper and more personal. Feelings that lie dormant, deep inside until something, such as President Bush’s passing, hit an emotional nerve.
The fleetingness of life.
Doesn’t every death remind us that life is short, often too short, and if not lived consciously every single day, can slip away before we understand why we are really here to begin with?
Too often I find myself on autopilot, going through the motions of each day but numb to the experience of it all. I often strive to just get through the day, which is really sad when I think about it.
Each day that passes is one day closer to the end, and I am spending that precious time watching the clock, waiting for the stress of my day to day life to subside for an hour or two before closing my eyes and waking up to the same meaningless existence again.
There are things in my life that matter. Most importantly, I am a mother to four beautiful children. I am a wife. I am a daughter. I am a sister. I am a friend. But I am really none of these things if I am not present to experience the gift of each role.
Family, friends, love, kindness, joy.
This is what matters. This is why I was brought forth to live this life on earth. But I am missing it. And too soon it will be over. It will be too late to seize the utter beauty of my existence and the incomprehensible magnificence that is life.
“Life is not about tomorrow. It is about right now. You are not on a quest to move forward. You are here to experience outrageous joy.”– The Teachings of Abraham
So today, I am declaring to myself and the world, that I will live in joy.
I WILL LIVE IN JOY!
I will choose joy when I am stressed out. I will choose joy when I am frustrated or my patience has worn thin. I will choose joy when I would normally choose anger.
I will look for the positive. I will appreciate. I will exude unconditional love. And on days when I struggle to find the joy, I will read, and reread my words from this moment in time. I will channel the raw emotion I am feeling in this very moment. And I will live in joy.
The Manifest Study 