Tag: kindergarten teacher

Day 12: I Am Calm. I Am Kind. I Am… Trying.

Self-loathing.
That’s what I feel right now.

Today felt like a continuation of yesterday. I woke up with a little less gratitude and a lot more noise in my head—thoughts racing a million miles an hour. I tried to shake it off, tried to set a positive tone, but… it didn’t really stick.

Kindergarten was… well, kindergarten. I’d love to say I was leading with light, but honestly? I was just trying to hold it together.

During our morning meeting, I introduced a new mantra to my students:

✨ I am calm. I am kind. I listen, I learn, and I shine. ✨

They loved it. The energy lifted—for about two minutes. But when it came time to put words into action? Total flop.

This year’s class is high-needs. The impulsivity is off the charts. But that’s the thing about kindergarten—you never know what you’re going to get. No labels, no diagnoses, just 17 little souls starting fresh. It really is like Forrest Gump said: a box of chocolates.

Last year, I got “easy.”
This year, I got “hard.”
But I love them all. I really do. Even on the days they make me want to walk out the door and not come back.

My husband has told me a story a few times about his fifth-grade teacher. She was young, carefree, and clearly in over her head. One day, the class got too wild, and without saying a word, she stood up, walked out, and never came back. Just left. Gone.

Some days, I think of her.
Actually, a lot of days, I think of her.

By lunchtime, my mood had tanked—and my choices followed. Carbs on carbs. They tasted amazing, but I know I’m going to feel it in the morning when I step on the scale.

And yes, I know that’s a toxic way to think. I’ve struggled with disordered eating in the past. I was so thin when I got married—like 105 pounds. Now I’m 43, I’ve had five kids, and I’m sitting at 135. I know that’s not “bad.” But I can’t help but feel frustrated. My ideal is 120. My dream? 110. And I hate that those numbers still have power over me.

Then there’s the wine.
Half a bottle on a weeknight isn’t unusual. On weekends? Don’t ask.
It’s my one exhale. My reset. But I know it’s a slippery slope.

My life is full. But also?
It’s a lot.

My kindergartners drain me. My five kids at home drain me. And I love them all deeply—but it doesn’t mean it’s easy.

And yet… even today, even now, I write. I journal. I recommit to my 365-day journey of manifesting the life I want. Not because I feel like it—but because I promised myself I would.

✨ Gratitude Practice

Today I’m grateful for:
Stretchy skirts. Comfy PJs. Warm baths. Patios on 70° days.
Our home. Our cars. My job. Our health.
My childhood. My husband. Green grass. T-shirts. TV. A comfy bed.
Mexican food. Air conditioning. Fireplaces. Swimming pools.
Books. Laughter. Electricity. Running water. The internet.
Our future. Our family. My students.
And always, always—my children.

🌟 Manifestation Practice

I am so happy and grateful now that money is abundant.
It flows to us easily, and our banks are overflowing. There is always more than enough.

I am so happy and grateful now that we travel the world, treating our loved ones to first-class adventures and five-star stays. Romantic getaways, family vacations, spontaneous trips—we do it all.

I am so happy and grateful now that we live in our dream home on the lake. It’s huge, breathtaking, and filled with peace, laughter, and light.

I am so happy and grateful now that I am a successful writer who works from home, living my purpose and loving every second of it.

I am so happy and grateful now that my husband is professionally fulfilled, doing work that excites and inspires him.

I am so happy and grateful now that good fortune is our norm.
Good things always happen to us. Miracles are constant.

I am so happy and grateful now that I drive my dream car—a white Escalade that fits our family and our lifestyle perfectly.

I am so happy and grateful now that my body is at its ideal weight.
I eat nourishing food that makes me feel good and never feel deprived.

I am so happy and grateful now that our life is overflowing with joy, love, and adventure.

So yeah… today wasn’t my best. But it’s one day. One imperfect, messy, real day in a long journey of becoming. And even though I didn’t lead with light every moment, I wanted to. I tried to. That counts for something. Tomorrow, I’ll try again—maybe with a little more grace, a little less Goldfish, and the same stubborn hope that keeps me coming back to the page. I’m not giving up. I’m just getting started. 🌙✨

The Reset

Welcome to my reset.

Over the last few years, this site has sat dormant, though the idea of it has bounced around in my mind almost constantly. There have been distractions. Life is busy. I have five kids and a full-time job teaching kindergarten. Most days, I’m overstimulated, tired, and tapped out.

But I know at my soul level that I need to be writing. I need to be visualizing, creating, and bringing my dreams to life. And I know they’ll manifest because of the effort I’m putting in now.

My kids and I are on spring break now. It’s been nice, and the break from our usual go-go-go lifestyle has been a welcome reprieve. But I want more. I want to show my kids the world. I want to load all five of them onto a plane—first class, of course—and whisk them away to a tropical island, sharing my love of travel and luxury destinations.

I’m not going to lie—life has been hard lately. And I know that writing it, thinking it, and saying it out loud might go against the Law of Attraction, but I feel like I need to be transparent so you all know where I’m starting from.

Over the past year, my husband and I have struggled tremendously. Our relationship has been tested, and we’ve seriously considered divorce more than once. Financial stress has become our norm, and to top it all off, my husband resigned from his job at the end of January and is currently unemployed.

It would be easy to give up. It would make sense to feel depressed and hopeless. And while we’ve felt those emotions deeply, we’ve managed to rise above them, stay positive, and remain certain that everything is unfolding exactly as it should.

I wanted to share all of this so you can understand my purpose for writing every day. From here on out, my posts will be part of my work to manifest the life we’ve always dreamed of.

You may be wondering why I’m sharing this journey so publicly. I wholeheartedly believe we have the power to create our own reality, and I want to show you exactly how I’m doing it. And maybe—just maybe—you’ll feel inspired to do the same, so we can all live the joyful, prosperous, love-filled life we came here to experience.

Blogging also keeps me consistent. Ultimately, I want to write, dream, imagine, and create every single day—and this outlet inspires me to show up and do just that.

Can I do this for 365 days? I can. I will. And the miracles will unfold.

Next spring break, I’ll be posting from my terrace overlooking the Caribbean Sea—with my husband by my side and our five kids splashing in the pool, living the life we’ve dreamed of together.

Because in the end, it’s not just about the view or the destination—it’s about sharing it with the people I love most.

💫 Let’s Stay Connected!
If you’re enjoying these posts and want more daily inspiration, manifesting tips, and behind-the-scenes moments, come follow along on Facebook! I’d love to have you join the journey. 💕

#Gratitude #Manifestation #DreamLifeInProgress